You could mention bands like the Stones, but only to acknowledge regret that they had turned out to be such Bad Men from London. Any artist found guilty of abusing their cultural platform to expose already imperilled minorities to further harm was no longer listenable. We were teaching-I was teaching-cultural cancellation. In a music class, the music of the Rolling Stones-generally regarded as one of the most important cultural creators of the past century-was off-limits. I don’t recall any discussion of the musical merits or the cultural importance of the band. A second time of racism through cultural appropriation. What bothers me still-enough that I attempt to expiate the demons here once and for all-and most about trying to teach rock ‘n’ roll was that I found myself lecturing on the evils of the Rolling Stones. I taught courses on popular music several times during my ten-year professorial career. And it’s not just pastors who noticed that music, in its essence, connected with humans so powerfully that, unless it were harnessed in service of the doctrinaire, it might, almost on its own, render the need for doctrine itself obsolete. An actual nighttime bonfire of vinyl records, at which attendance was mandatory, and justified by many prayers? -sure, I’ll go ahead and put that in the Top 5.īut it’s not just Christians who fucked up bigleaguelongtime on music. Unfortunately, far from the most outrageous thing I’ve seen done in the name of ‘ol JtheC, but up there you’d have to say, an honest effort. Probably the most disgusting thing I’ve ever seen done to music-unless you count. Regular readers will recall that, during one of the five childhood years I was resident there, the authorities of the Alliance Academy dormitory in Quito, Ecuador held a ritualistic record-burning bonfire. The Christians told me-even had me halfway convinced-that music that did not contain explicit lyrics praising the Christ child was of Satan. You can tell music must be powerful as all fuck just on account of how many institutions and ideologies seek to harness it for their own good and in their own image. The idea that busting moves and beating bongos is what’s going to make you break bad would be funny if so many people all over the world didn’t, in their hearts, still sort of believe it for real. Bongo likes to congo, as in line, and Perez Prado unlocks unknown or lost Latin hips like no one else ever has or will sorry Ricky Martin. He hangs out with us upstairs on the reg, and when he does it is always a very Perez Prado good time. Ever since he could move, Bongo has been shaking his ass.
I’ve got a three-year-old nephew living a few floors below me.